by Suzy Favor Hamilton (Author)

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

The former middle distance Olympic runner and high-end escort speaks out for the first time about her battle with mental illness, and how mania controlled and compelled her in competition, but also in life. This is a heartbreakingly honest yet hopeful memoir reminiscent of Manic, Electroboy, and An Unquiet Mind.

During the 1990s, three-time Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton was the darling of American track and field. An outstanding runner, a major sports apparel spokesperson, and a happily married wife, she was the model for an active, healthy, and wholesome life. But her perfect facade masked a dark truth: manic depression and bipolar disorder that drove her obsession to perform and win. For years after leaving the track, Suzy wrestled with her condition, as well as the loss of a close friend, conflicted feelings about motherhood and her marriage, and lingering shame about her athletic career. After a misdiagnosis and a recommendation for medication that only exacerbated her mania and made her hypersexual, Suzy embarked on a new path, and assumed a new identity. Fueled by a newfound confidence, a feeling of strength and independence and a desire she couldn't tamp down, she became a high-priced escort in Las Vegas, working as "Kelly."

But Suzy could not keep her double life a secret forever. When it was eventually exposed, it sent her into a reckless suicidal period where the only option seemed out. Finally, with the help of her devoted husband, Suzy finally got the proper medical help she needed. In this startling frank memoir, she recounts the journey to outrun her demons, revealing how a woman used to physically controlling her body learned to come to terms with her unstable mind. It is the story of a how a supreme competitor scored her most important victory of all--reclaiming her life from the ravages of an untreated mental illness. Today, thanks to diagnosis, therapy, Kelly has stepped into the shadows, but Suzy is building a better life, one day at a time. Sharing her story, Suzy is determined to raise awareness, provide understanding, and offer inspiration to others coping with their own challenges.

Front Jacket

The shocking and inspiring story of a star athlete's struggle to outrun her demons--and finally find peace

Suzy Favor Hamilton was born a fast girl. A natural athlete driven by an insatiable need to win, she became the ultimate track-and-field sweetheart. But success masked the doubt, self-sabotage, and constant anxiety that plagued her. It wasn't enough to win one race--Suzy had to win them all. During the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia, Suzy decided that she would rather stage a fall than face defeat--a move that precipitated the end of her running career.

But after living in the fast lane as a world-class athlete, Suzy felt normal life in the Midwest to be mind-numbingly dull and even frightening. On a trip to Las Vegas, she found a rush she needed to feel alive and a window to a secret world. Re-creating herself as a glamorous escort, she recklessly crafted an exciting double life. Until one day she discovered that she had been running from herself--and the secret pain of an undiagnosed mental illness.

Today, Suzy is living a happy life with her husband and daughter, one day at a time. By sharing her story, she hopes to raise awareness, and provide understanding to anyone battling the debilitating effects of bipolar disorder.--Hollywood Life

Back Jacket

The shocking and inspiring story of a star athlete's struggle to outrun her demons--and finally find peace

Suzy Favor Hamilton was born a fast girl. A natural athlete driven by an insatiable need to win, she became the ultimate track-and-field sweetheart. But success masked the doubt, self-sabotage, and constant anxiety that plagued her. It wasn't enough to win one race--Suzy had to win them all. During the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia, Suzy decided that she would rather stage a fall than face defeat--a move that precipitated the end of her running career.

But after living in the fast lane as a world-class athlete, Suzy felt normal life in the Midwest to be mind-numbingly dull and even frightening. On a trip to Las Vegas, she found a rush she needed to feel alive and a window to a secret world. Re-creating herself as a glamorous escort, she recklessly crafted an exciting double life. Until one day she discovered that she had been running from herself--and the secret pain of an undiagnosed mental illness.

Today, Suzy is living a happy life with her husband and daughter, one day at a time. By sharing her story, she hopes to raise awareness, and provide understanding to anyone battling the debilitating effects of bipolar disorder.